My Gram!!! What a truly beautiful woman she was. In every sense of the word. From the inside out. I'm approaching the 1 year anniversary of losing the woman that I spent hours upon hours with going through photo albums and scrap books. Enjoying every story that came with every picture or telegram from Grandpa. Listening to her stories of her childhood, and how defiant she could be. The walking she had to do to get to her piano lessons. How she met my Grandpa, and got out of the car and walked home on one of their dates when they had an argument. She was definitely a stubborn dutch woman, and I'm proud to say I have carried that trait on. Gram never quit, and rarely let you know she was hurting. She did what had to be done, and did it with grace and poise. She taught me how to take care of rose bushes...ohhh her rose bushes were the most beautiful ones I have ever seen. She had such a green thumb and could save any plant from near death. I remember her letting me water her plants on occasion, except 1...the African Violet. That one was strictly off limits!! There were countless trips to see Gram and Grandpa, just to hang out and chat. I loved my Grams nails!! They were always perfect for washing my hair in the sink and gently scratching my scalp, or sitting on the floor in front of her so she could scratch my back. When canning season came, I'd help her peel and mash apples for applesauce, her chunky style was my favorite. The best part being when the work was done, and it was time to listen for the popping of the jars. Gram's canned stuff was the best. From peaches to colored pears of green and red for the holidays.
During the last few years of her life, Gram suffered from Dementia which later resulted in Alzheimers. It tore me up that she couldn't remember the times that we had spent together, either alone or with family. But, she could still remember her past. When I would go visit her in the nursing home, she had no idea who I was, but she was always honey to me. Honey was the name that Grandpa always called her, and she him. My little way of keeping a past that I remembered alive and well with her. She told me more stories that I had never heard before. We sang childhood songs together, colored together, and sometimes just sat in peace.
As the end became closer our visits changed. From singing and coloring together to me singing to her. Once in a while I would do her hair for her...a little ironic. I would take her for walks, and just talk to her as if I was talking to my best friend. There came a time when she couldn't talk very well, but just telling her about the tough things going on in my life at the time and knowing my Gram was still there with all of her wisdom seemed to make everything better, and help me find the answers I was in need of.
The day before I lost my Gram, I was visiting with her. She couldn't talk at all, and wasn't eating. I did manage to get a bit of Ensure into her, but I knew it wasn't going to be enough. When I got ready to leave, I gave my Gram a hug, held her hand, looked her in the eye and said, "I love you." It was then that she looked at me as if she knew, for that moment, who I was, and said, " I love you." I will forever remember her voice saying those 3 very important words to me. They will be held close to my heart, in a very safe and sacred place.
I pray that everyone has someone like my Gram in their lives. She was a truly amazing woman. I will miss her everyday, yet I rejoice in the fact that I will one day see her again.
Helena White
Wife, Mother, Grandma, Great-Grandma
September 30, 1919 - November 19, 2009
