My Gram!!! What a truly beautiful woman she was. In every sense of the word. From the inside out. I'm approaching the 1 year anniversary of losing the woman that I spent hours upon hours with going through photo albums and scrap books. Enjoying every story that came with every picture or telegram from Grandpa. Listening to her stories of her childhood, and how defiant she could be. The walking she had to do to get to her piano lessons. How she met my Grandpa, and got out of the car and walked home on one of their dates when they had an argument. She was definitely a stubborn dutch woman, and I'm proud to say I have carried that trait on. Gram never quit, and rarely let you know she was hurting. She did what had to be done, and did it with grace and poise. She taught me how to take care of rose bushes...ohhh her rose bushes were the most beautiful ones I have ever seen. She had such a green thumb and could save any plant from near death. I remember her letting me water her plants on occasion, except 1...the African Violet. That one was strictly off limits!! There were countless trips to see Gram and Grandpa, just to hang out and chat. I loved my Grams nails!! They were always perfect for washing my hair in the sink and gently scratching my scalp, or sitting on the floor in front of her so she could scratch my back. When canning season came, I'd help her peel and mash apples for applesauce, her chunky style was my favorite. The best part being when the work was done, and it was time to listen for the popping of the jars. Gram's canned stuff was the best. From peaches to colored pears of green and red for the holidays.
During the last few years of her life, Gram suffered from Dementia which later resulted in Alzheimers. It tore me up that she couldn't remember the times that we had spent together, either alone or with family. But, she could still remember her past. When I would go visit her in the nursing home, she had no idea who I was, but she was always honey to me. Honey was the name that Grandpa always called her, and she him. My little way of keeping a past that I remembered alive and well with her. She told me more stories that I had never heard before. We sang childhood songs together, colored together, and sometimes just sat in peace.
As the end became closer our visits changed. From singing and coloring together to me singing to her. Once in a while I would do her hair for her...a little ironic. I would take her for walks, and just talk to her as if I was talking to my best friend. There came a time when she couldn't talk very well, but just telling her about the tough things going on in my life at the time and knowing my Gram was still there with all of her wisdom seemed to make everything better, and help me find the answers I was in need of.
The day before I lost my Gram, I was visiting with her. She couldn't talk at all, and wasn't eating. I did manage to get a bit of Ensure into her, but I knew it wasn't going to be enough. When I got ready to leave, I gave my Gram a hug, held her hand, looked her in the eye and said, "I love you." It was then that she looked at me as if she knew, for that moment, who I was, and said, " I love you." I will forever remember her voice saying those 3 very important words to me. They will be held close to my heart, in a very safe and sacred place.
I pray that everyone has someone like my Gram in their lives. She was a truly amazing woman. I will miss her everyday, yet I rejoice in the fact that I will one day see her again.
Helena White
Wife, Mother, Grandma, Great-Grandma
September 30, 1919 - November 19, 2009
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Read With Caution
Disclaimer: This entry is deeply personal, and gets into things that happened in my past. It is MY story...ugly...but still mine. I'm not looking for any ones pity, I just need to get this out, and maybe the night terrors will stop. I'm ok with talking about this...so, if you have any questions, or want to talk about anything else that comes to mind, please ask, don't assume. That being said....
My name is Rebekah, and I'm a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. My abuser was my sperm donor, although he will never admit to it. Oh well...kids don't make this shit up, not in the detail that I remember. I won't get into to much of that here, as some of it is just plain disturbing. If you want to know, I'll tell ya, but on a more personal level. From what I can remember, it started when I was about 4, and didn't stop until my parents divorce when I was 8, and even occasionally after that during our "visitation" with him every other Sunday. That man put such a fear in me. Always told me that he was going to hurt my mom and brothers if I told anybody. That I was put here to make him happy, and to do things that would make him proud of me. If you have children, or know children then you know that deep down that's all they want to do. Make mom and dad proud, and happy.
For a while, I felt like it was my fault. Not sure what I was doing wrong, but that didn't matter. The guilt out weighed everything else. I know now that it was not my fault. Granted it took many years of therapy, but that's not the point, I got there. Now, when I think about it, I still wonder why. Why would a grown man feel the need to do that to a young child, let alone his own daughter? I don't except the reasons "it was done to me," or "I didn't know any better." How the hell could you not know better? You're a grown man. A VERY selfish grown man. He took advantage of me. Took something from me that wasn't his to take...my innocence.
So much of what he did affected the future years of my life. I was so screwed up when it came to love. As a late teen and into my early 20's, I thought that to get love I had to give myself. Not something I'm particularly fond of. I craved the love of a man, so I'm sure you can guess what happened. I'm VERY thankful that I never got pregnant, or something worse.
I remember the feel of the canvas material that he would lay on the cold, maroon, cement floor in the basement. The way he would close the french doors that were covered with windows. Can't stand the feel of canvas. I remember the smell of the oil on his skin from his work covered by the sickening scent of Old Spice. Yup, another thing I can't stand. Most of all, I remember the look on my big brothers face the day he was caught. The look of terror that this was happening to his little sister. My mom, brothers and I left that day, and never went back.
To be in that house now, everything has changed. Doors have been removed, steps taken out and floor filled in. But, to me, it is now, and will always be the way it was when I was a child. And him, well, I don't have a choice, he will always be my sperm donor, but he will never be my dad. That title is a right, and a privilege that is not given, but must be earned.
I'm not exactly sure why I decided to write about this now. I'm not sure what is going on with me that has made the night terrors return. When I sleep, I relive all of it. I guess you could say that man is still scaring me. Not sure exactly how to get it to stop for good. Maybe I can't, maybe I'm doomed to have to deal with it for the rest of my life. Tis the life of a survivor I guess. Just another thing on this road of my life to make me a little stronger.
I will say this in conclusion. I have the worlds most beautiful daughter (yeah, I'm bias...I'm supposed to be), and I REALLY feel sorry for anyone that hurts her. The abuse stops with me. I will protect her as any momma bear would her cubs.
My name is Rebekah, and I'm a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. My abuser was my sperm donor, although he will never admit to it. Oh well...kids don't make this shit up, not in the detail that I remember. I won't get into to much of that here, as some of it is just plain disturbing. If you want to know, I'll tell ya, but on a more personal level. From what I can remember, it started when I was about 4, and didn't stop until my parents divorce when I was 8, and even occasionally after that during our "visitation" with him every other Sunday. That man put such a fear in me. Always told me that he was going to hurt my mom and brothers if I told anybody. That I was put here to make him happy, and to do things that would make him proud of me. If you have children, or know children then you know that deep down that's all they want to do. Make mom and dad proud, and happy.
For a while, I felt like it was my fault. Not sure what I was doing wrong, but that didn't matter. The guilt out weighed everything else. I know now that it was not my fault. Granted it took many years of therapy, but that's not the point, I got there. Now, when I think about it, I still wonder why. Why would a grown man feel the need to do that to a young child, let alone his own daughter? I don't except the reasons "it was done to me," or "I didn't know any better." How the hell could you not know better? You're a grown man. A VERY selfish grown man. He took advantage of me. Took something from me that wasn't his to take...my innocence.
So much of what he did affected the future years of my life. I was so screwed up when it came to love. As a late teen and into my early 20's, I thought that to get love I had to give myself. Not something I'm particularly fond of. I craved the love of a man, so I'm sure you can guess what happened. I'm VERY thankful that I never got pregnant, or something worse.
I remember the feel of the canvas material that he would lay on the cold, maroon, cement floor in the basement. The way he would close the french doors that were covered with windows. Can't stand the feel of canvas. I remember the smell of the oil on his skin from his work covered by the sickening scent of Old Spice. Yup, another thing I can't stand. Most of all, I remember the look on my big brothers face the day he was caught. The look of terror that this was happening to his little sister. My mom, brothers and I left that day, and never went back.
To be in that house now, everything has changed. Doors have been removed, steps taken out and floor filled in. But, to me, it is now, and will always be the way it was when I was a child. And him, well, I don't have a choice, he will always be my sperm donor, but he will never be my dad. That title is a right, and a privilege that is not given, but must be earned.
I'm not exactly sure why I decided to write about this now. I'm not sure what is going on with me that has made the night terrors return. When I sleep, I relive all of it. I guess you could say that man is still scaring me. Not sure exactly how to get it to stop for good. Maybe I can't, maybe I'm doomed to have to deal with it for the rest of my life. Tis the life of a survivor I guess. Just another thing on this road of my life to make me a little stronger.
I will say this in conclusion. I have the worlds most beautiful daughter (yeah, I'm bias...I'm supposed to be), and I REALLY feel sorry for anyone that hurts her. The abuse stops with me. I will protect her as any momma bear would her cubs.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Nuff said
Gotta Be Somebody by: Nickleback
This time I wonder what it feels like
To find the one in this life
The one we all dream of
But dreams just aren't enough
So I´ll be waiting for the real thing.
I'll know it by the feeling.
The moment when we´re meeting
will play out like a scene straight off the silver screen
So I`ll be holdin’ my own breath
Right up to the end
Until that moment when
I find the one that I'll spend forever with
`Cause nobody wants to be the last one there.
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There`s gotta be somebody for me like that.
`Cause nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere.
There`s gotta be somebody for me out there.
Tonight, out on the street out in the moonlight
And dammit this feels too right
It´s just like Déjà Vu
Me standin’ here with you
So I´ll be holdin`my own breath
Could this be the end?
Is it that moment when
I find the one that I'll spend forever with?
‘Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There´s gotta be somebody for me like that.
`Cause nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There`s gotta be somebody for me out there.
You can´t give up!
Lookin´ for that diamond in the rough
You never know but when it shows up
Make sure you´re holdin` on
‘Cause it could be the one, the one you´re waiting on
‘Cause nobody wants to be the last one there.
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There has gotta be somebody for me
Ohhhhhh.
Nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.
Is there somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There`s gotta be somebody for me out there.
Nobody wants to be the last one there
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Is there somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There has gotta be somebody for me out there.
This time I wonder what it feels like
To find the one in this life
The one we all dream of
But dreams just aren't enough
So I´ll be waiting for the real thing.
I'll know it by the feeling.
The moment when we´re meeting
will play out like a scene straight off the silver screen
So I`ll be holdin’ my own breath
Right up to the end
Until that moment when
I find the one that I'll spend forever with
`Cause nobody wants to be the last one there.
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There`s gotta be somebody for me like that.
`Cause nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere.
There`s gotta be somebody for me out there.
Tonight, out on the street out in the moonlight
And dammit this feels too right
It´s just like Déjà Vu
Me standin’ here with you
So I´ll be holdin`my own breath
Could this be the end?
Is it that moment when
I find the one that I'll spend forever with?
‘Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There´s gotta be somebody for me like that.
`Cause nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There`s gotta be somebody for me out there.
You can´t give up!
Lookin´ for that diamond in the rough
You never know but when it shows up
Make sure you´re holdin` on
‘Cause it could be the one, the one you´re waiting on
‘Cause nobody wants to be the last one there.
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There has gotta be somebody for me
Ohhhhhh.
Nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.
Is there somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There`s gotta be somebody for me out there.
Nobody wants to be the last one there
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Is there somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There has gotta be somebody for me out there.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Almost A Month
UGH...I'm a slacker!!! Or I'm just so busy!!! Choose which ever you think best describes me. Not much has been going on in my world. Typical mom, house keeper, cook, laundry doer, church secretary, sales rep., multi-tasking stuff. LOL
I was able to spend some time a north with my family. It was WONDERFUL to say the least. I got to see my sister, who I really haven't seen or spoken to in about 2 years. I've seen her at family functions, but she never really talked to me. The polite "hi," but in my opinion those don't count. I can't say over this weekend we had deep conversation, but she got to see the real me, in a comfortable atmosphere. Hopefully she realized that I'm not who I was at 17. I've since grown, and let things go. It's my hope and prayer that she got to know my family a little bit better too. My sweet Jojo, and my ever quiet husband. We're good people, and good to our people (that being our family and friends). If she hasn't let go of the past, there is nothing I can do about that. As much as I would like to. I can, and will keep trying to have the relationship that we used to. She used to be my best friend. When my parents divorced, she was the person that knew exactly what I was going through (Technically we are only half sisters - sharing the same sperm donor). I can't really get into it, as it isn't my place to tell her story, but I will say that her and I had a similar childhood. For those that know me, you can probably figure it out, and for those that don't know that side of me, one day it will be a blog. Probably sooner than later. But, I digress...As my little family was getting ready to leave on Sunday, and were giving everone hugs good bye, I went to the very edge of the cliff of our relationship, and I jumped...head first. I gave my sister a hug. I had no idea how she was going to respond to this, but if I didn't send out that love at that very moment, who knows if/when I would have the chance again. Much to my surprise...she hugged me back. Not some whimpy, I really don't want to do this but I will to be polite hug either. It was an arms wrapped around me tight, I've missed my sister kind of hug. Now, maybe it was just my wishful thinking, or maybe it really was her just being polite, I don't know. I choose to hold on to choice A.
We shall see what the future holds. My mom and I think it would be an awesome idea to get the whole family together again. I kinda have to agree. It was an amazing time. Attached is one of the many pictures taken. This is my family, my people. My mom, my two big brothers, and my big sister. I do love them, and would give anything and everything for them!!!! When everyone else walks away...you still have family!!! At least I always will!!! Last minute add. As I was looking through the pictures, I decided to add one of everyone. Added are my nieces and nephews, step dad (dad), brother in law and sister in law. I love em all!!! I like to say we all put the fun in dysfunctional. :) Anyway...enjoy!
Night.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Time Flies
UGH, sorry I haven't been around. First sick, then a mommy get away weekend, then Rob was gone...just to busy!! So, tonight I'm making the time to write something. Not exactly sure yet, so just work with me.
I did realize something yesterday morning...and please, don't tell Rob that I'm saying this...I need him!! Who would have thunk that the "Miss Independent" I try so hard to be actually NEEDS someone? He and I have such a routine down in the mornings that him being gone really puts a crink in things. He may not do a lot without being asked, but the things that he does do, definitely don't go un-noticed.
I'm hoping now that I'm feeling worlds better, and Rob is home, that I will get back into my groove. I need to make more time for blogging. There are so many things that I want to say and share. Hopefully start a discussion or two. Be it here, or in your own homes.
I think that's enough for tonight...nothing to awful special. But, I haven't seen my hubby since Friday morning. I'm ready for some cuddles.
I did realize something yesterday morning...and please, don't tell Rob that I'm saying this...I need him!! Who would have thunk that the "Miss Independent" I try so hard to be actually NEEDS someone? He and I have such a routine down in the mornings that him being gone really puts a crink in things. He may not do a lot without being asked, but the things that he does do, definitely don't go un-noticed.
I'm hoping now that I'm feeling worlds better, and Rob is home, that I will get back into my groove. I need to make more time for blogging. There are so many things that I want to say and share. Hopefully start a discussion or two. Be it here, or in your own homes.
I think that's enough for tonight...nothing to awful special. But, I haven't seen my hubby since Friday morning. I'm ready for some cuddles.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Haven't Forgotten
I'm still here...sick, but here. I just wanted to pop in and let everyone know that I'll be back when I'm feeling better. Hopefully my little weekend away will help refresh, renew, and make me a little healthier inside and out. I'll be back. Hugs to you all!
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Suicide
Ok, so the title is a little depressing, and parts of this blog might be too. So read with caution.
At approx 4pm, two years ago today, I received a phone call that forever changed my life. My best friends wife was on the other end of the line, and I could tell she had been crying. She had not long before found her husband. He had committed suicide. I remember where and how I was sitting, the thinking this was some really mean prank. Every feeling, thought, emotion...it all comes back to me on this day every year.
Andy was my rock. He knew EVERYTHING there was to know about me, and loved me just the same. I knew all of his deepest, darkest secrets, and loved him just the same. Many, many times I would call him for the tiniest bit of advice, and he always gave it. Honestly. He was at times brutally honest with me. He was everything a friend should be, and more. He was there, as much as he could be from Indiana, for all of the important things in my life. Meeting Rob, getting engaged, getting married, having a baby...everything. Now, he watches me and my family from someplace else.
Suicide is such a selfish act. He wanted out of a situation he was in, and he wanted to take the easy way out. I understand not wanting to put his family and friends through what would have happened, but he never gave us the choice. He took it upon himself to make our decisions for us. To be completely honest, that pisses me off. I'm so very angry with him for this. What gave him the right to decide for me? For his wife, daughter and grandson? I'll never understand what made him do it. Well, I know why he did it, but I'll never know why. I know that doesn't make much sense to some people. But to those that have been through loosing someone this way, I'm sure it makes perfect sense.
I guess you never really know someone completely. If I knew him the way I thought I did, I should have known something was wrong. So, yeah, I'm a little angry with myself for not catching on. That last email from him he said things that he had never said to me before. I should have known that was his way of saying good bye. Making sure I knew exactly how he felt.
I will miss him everyday, and he took a piece of me with him on that spring day. Maybe one day the anger won't be so raw, and I will be able to forgive him. The ache that I feel will lessen, over time. But, the love that I have for him will never go away, and neither will the memories that I have.
At approx 4pm, two years ago today, I received a phone call that forever changed my life. My best friends wife was on the other end of the line, and I could tell she had been crying. She had not long before found her husband. He had committed suicide. I remember where and how I was sitting, the thinking this was some really mean prank. Every feeling, thought, emotion...it all comes back to me on this day every year.
Andy was my rock. He knew EVERYTHING there was to know about me, and loved me just the same. I knew all of his deepest, darkest secrets, and loved him just the same. Many, many times I would call him for the tiniest bit of advice, and he always gave it. Honestly. He was at times brutally honest with me. He was everything a friend should be, and more. He was there, as much as he could be from Indiana, for all of the important things in my life. Meeting Rob, getting engaged, getting married, having a baby...everything. Now, he watches me and my family from someplace else.
Suicide is such a selfish act. He wanted out of a situation he was in, and he wanted to take the easy way out. I understand not wanting to put his family and friends through what would have happened, but he never gave us the choice. He took it upon himself to make our decisions for us. To be completely honest, that pisses me off. I'm so very angry with him for this. What gave him the right to decide for me? For his wife, daughter and grandson? I'll never understand what made him do it. Well, I know why he did it, but I'll never know why. I know that doesn't make much sense to some people. But to those that have been through loosing someone this way, I'm sure it makes perfect sense.
I guess you never really know someone completely. If I knew him the way I thought I did, I should have known something was wrong. So, yeah, I'm a little angry with myself for not catching on. That last email from him he said things that he had never said to me before. I should have known that was his way of saying good bye. Making sure I knew exactly how he felt.
I will miss him everyday, and he took a piece of me with him on that spring day. Maybe one day the anger won't be so raw, and I will be able to forgive him. The ache that I feel will lessen, over time. But, the love that I have for him will never go away, and neither will the memories that I have.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Happiness
Where do you find yours? Do you find it in the simple things? Is your happiness dependent on someone or something else? These are just some of the questions that came to mind during a conversation with a friend of mine today. I've had all day to think about this, and really reflect on my own life. My own happiness, and where it comes from. Unfortunately, the answers I came up with were not what I had hoped for. But, the internal deep reflection has opened my eyes.
For so long, my happiness has been dependent on other people. In some cases it was my need to do things for others, which is a good thing for the most part. Unfortunately, I was so busy helping others, that I forgot to help myself. Yes, it makes me happy to help others, but there's that word...others. I need to find a way to help and take care of myself.
Is it truly possible for one to be completely happy within themselves? I think so. That's not to say that we don't need friendships and the such. But, I know for me personally, I have to learn not to rely on others for my own happiness. I will continue to help others, but for different reasons. Not because I feel like I have to, but just because I want to.
It's ok, in my opinion, to find happiness in other things and people...just don't let yourself become so dependent on it that you forget to take care of yourself. I'm trying to do more things for me, take some time for me. To be with myself, or to be with my friends. I'm still wearing the hats of a mom, a wife, and countless others. But, these hats do not define me. They are just a small part of my bigger picture.
Good Night!
For so long, my happiness has been dependent on other people. In some cases it was my need to do things for others, which is a good thing for the most part. Unfortunately, I was so busy helping others, that I forgot to help myself. Yes, it makes me happy to help others, but there's that word...others. I need to find a way to help and take care of myself.
Is it truly possible for one to be completely happy within themselves? I think so. That's not to say that we don't need friendships and the such. But, I know for me personally, I have to learn not to rely on others for my own happiness. I will continue to help others, but for different reasons. Not because I feel like I have to, but just because I want to.
It's ok, in my opinion, to find happiness in other things and people...just don't let yourself become so dependent on it that you forget to take care of yourself. I'm trying to do more things for me, take some time for me. To be with myself, or to be with my friends. I'm still wearing the hats of a mom, a wife, and countless others. But, these hats do not define me. They are just a small part of my bigger picture.
Good Night!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Friends
A friend of mine on Twitter made this comment, "...thinking how time flies and how some people are meant to pass through your life and not stay in it." This got me thinking about the friends I have had, as well as the ones I have now. It's amazing to me how each person is put in your life at the very time you need them the most. Sometimes that is for a very short time, sometimes it's for years. I can't say I have any of the friends I had as a child, and that is completely ok. I do often wonder how some of them are doing. Sharon, Danny, Jenny...they were all very special to me at one time. They were in my life at a time when I needed help with what would become a major transition in my life. They were a constant. Every other weekend, on visitation days with my sperm donor, they were there. I knew I could count on them to be there to "hang out" with when my sperm donor was the last person I wanted to be around. Now, the friends I have as an adult are just like Sharon, Danny and Jenny. They are a constant for me. The people I have chosen to surround myself with aren't going anywhere. Even if they do physically, the bonds that we have are stronger than any distance could be.
Recently I visited with a friend that I have had for about 8 years. She has watched my daughter grow from day 1. She was my last minute babysitter when I was about to pull my hair out, has been my shoulder on countless occasions, I stood up for her and sang in her wedding, we've shared numerous nights out at our favorite little hole in the wall (miss that place), she knows EVERYTHING there is to know about me, and loves me just the same. I'm truly blessed to have this remarkable woman in my life. I moved away almost 3 years ago, and for a while we didn't talk. Visiting with her was like no time had passed at all. I love her like my little sister, and would give her anything that she needed if I could.
I have seen many people walk out of my life. Thinking about some of them makes me a little sad...until I think of the things we did together, the memories that we made. I may never see these people again in person, but all I have to do is close my eyes and think back. It might only be back a few years, it may be what seems like a life time ago, but, when I close my eyes, there they are again. Thinking of them makes me happy, and hopeful for their lives.
Remembering the past isn't necessarily a bad thing. For without it, I don't think we would be who we are today. Everyone leaves a footprint on our lives. Sometimes that one print turns into many as the special people in our lives are there walking beside us. My hope for you is that you have the people in your life now that will help you get to where you are going, and remind you of where you came from.
Good Night.
Recently I visited with a friend that I have had for about 8 years. She has watched my daughter grow from day 1. She was my last minute babysitter when I was about to pull my hair out, has been my shoulder on countless occasions, I stood up for her and sang in her wedding, we've shared numerous nights out at our favorite little hole in the wall (miss that place), she knows EVERYTHING there is to know about me, and loves me just the same. I'm truly blessed to have this remarkable woman in my life. I moved away almost 3 years ago, and for a while we didn't talk. Visiting with her was like no time had passed at all. I love her like my little sister, and would give her anything that she needed if I could.
I have seen many people walk out of my life. Thinking about some of them makes me a little sad...until I think of the things we did together, the memories that we made. I may never see these people again in person, but all I have to do is close my eyes and think back. It might only be back a few years, it may be what seems like a life time ago, but, when I close my eyes, there they are again. Thinking of them makes me happy, and hopeful for their lives.
Remembering the past isn't necessarily a bad thing. For without it, I don't think we would be who we are today. Everyone leaves a footprint on our lives. Sometimes that one print turns into many as the special people in our lives are there walking beside us. My hope for you is that you have the people in your life now that will help you get to where you are going, and remind you of where you came from.
Good Night.
Getting Started
Hmm, not sure who is going to read this, but I needed a place to write and share. Someplace where discussions can be had with no judgments (the world is filled with enough of that). A place of pure honesty. So, sit back and simply read, and/or when you feel up to it, join in on a conversation. One never knows what could come if people would just sit and talk, with an open respect for each other. It is my hope that you will enjoy reading as much as I will enjoy writing. :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)